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I thought pet jokes might be too narrow a category, but then I thought about all the pets I’ve had over the years, including rabbits, dogs, cats, mice, fish, a tortoise, a slow worm, a gecko and two iguanas, which left me with quite a few options.

Why does an oyster make a terrible pet? It’s shelfish 

When should you follow your dog? When it takes the lead 

What the best pet for beginners? A guinea pig 

Why was the robo-dog ignored by real dogs? He didn’t make scents 

How much do stray dogs weigh? A pound 

Why do dog owners make great ice-creams? They are good with a scoop 

What’s the most common household pet? Fleas 

How do you know when a gecko wants out of its vivarium? It starts climbing the walls 

What do you call a dog that barks too much? A husky 

Why did the soldier buy some tropical fish? He already had a tank 

Hover over the joke to reveal the answer.

I thought pet jokes might be too narrow a category, but then I thought about all the pets I’ve had over the years, including rabbits, dogs, cats, mice, fish, a tortoise, a slow worm, a gecko and two iguanas, which left me with quite a few options.

Click on the joke to reveal the answer.

Why does an oyster make a terrible pet? It’s shelfish 

When should you follow your dog? When it takes the lead 

What the best pet for beginners? A guinea pig 

Why was the robo-dog ignored by real dogs? He didn’t make scents 

How much do stray dogs weigh? A pound 

Why do dog owners make great ice-creams? They are good with a scoop 

What’s the most common household pet? Fleas 

How do you know when a gecko wants out of its vivarium? It starts climbing the walls 

What do you call a dog that barks too much? A husky 

Why did the soldier buy some tropical fish? He already had a tank 

Tom E. Moffatt is often pestered by a cat while he writes his books and jokes.