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I’ve got it all covered with these classic clothes jokes. If you think they are wearing a little thin, try leaving your own wearable joke in the comment box.

How do you relieve a constipated cardigan?
Undo its bottom button

What metal can you use to make leggings?
Tightanium

What clothes should you not wear in a car chase?
A pullover

What should you wear if you roll around in a cow field?
Dungarees

What do old sheep use to keep their hands warm?
Muttons

What did the policeman say to the criminal who hid in a laundry basket?
You’re under a vest!

What sport can you play when you take your football boots off?
Socker

What do stand-up comedians wear when they perform?
A wit suit

What do cows wear when they get cold?
Jerseys

What do you call people who steal underwear?
Nickers

Tom E. Moffatt likes to dress for the occasion. Unless the occasion is writing one of his books, in which case he prefers to wear his dressing gown.

Hover over the joke to reveal the answer.

I’ve got it all covered with these classic clothes jokes. If you think they are wearing a little thin, try leaving your own wearable joke in the comment box.

Click on the joke to reveal the answer.

How do you relieve a constipated cardigan?
Undo its bottom button

What metal can you use to make leggings?
Tightanium

What clothes should you not wear in a car chase?
A pullover

What should you wear if you roll around in a cow field?
Dungarees

What do old sheep use to keep their hands warm?
Muttons

What did the policeman say to the criminal who hid in a laundry basket?
You’re under a vest!

What sport can you play when you take your football boots off?
Socker

What do stand-up comedians wear when they perform?
A wit suit

What do cows wear when they get cold?
Jerseys

What do you call people who steal underwear?
Nickers

Tom E. Moffatt likes to dress for the occasion. Unless the occasion is writing one of his books, in which case he prefers to wear his dressing gown.