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Once you’ve decked the halls with boughs of holly you’ll need to fill your crackers with jokes. My present to you all this Christmas is this colourful collection of festive puns.

What does Santa use to water his garden?
A ho-ho-hose

Why does Santa never get any presents from his helper?
He’s elfish

Which reindeer farts at the dinner table?
Rudolf

What do you call Santa Claus after he’s eaten a tin of baked beans?
Farter Christmas

What’s a monkey’s favourite Christmas song?
Jungle Bells

Why does Santa need an umbrella?
Because of the rain, dear.

What do you get if you eat too many Christmas decorations?
Tinsel-itis

Chicken: I love Christmas!
Turkey: I prefer Easter.

What was Santa’s favourite subject at school?
Christmaths

Why are there only 25 letters in the alphabet at Christmas time?
Noel

Tom E. Moffatt ho-ho-hopes you have lots of giggles this Christmas. If you need some more, pick up one of his books.

Hover over the joke to reveal the answer.

Once you’ve decked the halls with boughs of holly you’ll need to fill your crackers with jokes. My present to you all this Christmas is this colourful collection of festive puns.

Click on the joke to reveal the answer.

What does Santa use to water his garden?
A ho-ho-hose

Why does Santa never get any presents from his helper?
He’s elfish

Which reindeer farts at the dinner table?
Rudolf

What do you call Santa Claus after he’s eaten a tin of baked beans?
Farter Christmas

What’s a monkey’s favourite Christmas song?
Jungle Bells

Why does Santa need an umbrella?
Because of the rain, dear.

What do you get if you eat too many Christmas decorations?
Tinsel-itis

Chicken: I love Christmas!
Turkey: I prefer Easter.

What was Santa’s favourite subject at school?
Christmaths

Why are there only 25 letters in the alphabet at Christmas time?
Noel

Tom E. Moffatt ho-ho-hopes you have lots of giggles this Christmas. If you need some more, pick up one of his books.