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This month there were schools of funny jokes swimming around my creative pool. Unfortunately, there’s not the plaice to tell them all here. However, please mullet over in your spare time, then add your own fishy puns to the comment box.

What did the judge say to the man who drank a fish?
Gill Tea

What do you call four dead fish on a table?
Plaice mats

Where do fish learn to read and write?
They’re fish, you donut. They don’t learn to read and write!

Why should you never use a saddle to ride a dolphin?
It defeats the porpoise

Can you sea weed?
No, but I sword fish.

When should you run away from a goldfish?
When it’s in a tank

Why don’t fish wear trousers?
They’re too fin

Why did the parrot sit on a fish?
It was a perch

Which fish has the worst hairdo?
A Mullet

What do you call smoked lungfish?
A Puffer fish

Hover over the joke to reveal the answer.

This month there were schools of funny jokes swimming around my creative pool. Unfortunately, there’s not the plaice to tell them all here. However, please mullet over in your spare time, then add your own fishy puns to the comment box.

Click on the joke to reveal the answer.

What did the judge say to the man who drank a fish?
Gill tea

What do you call four dead fish on a table?
Plaice mats

Where do fish learn to read and write?
They’re fish, you donut. They don’t learn to read and write!

Why should you never use a saddle to ride a dolphin?
It defeats the porpoise

Can you sea weed?
No, but I sword fish.

When should you run away from a goldfish?
When it’s in a tank

Why don’t fish wear trousers?
They’re too fin

Why did the parrot sit on a fish?
It was a perch

Which fish has the worst hairdo?
A Mullet

What do you call smoked lungfish?
A pufferfish

If you’d like to catch some more laughs, check out Tom E. Moffatt’s books.